Big decisions

This is Sister Miller!  Also, this week has been kind of crazy because there is a possibility that I will need to go home for a time to resolve these health issues.  The last medication they put me on gave me some side-effects the doctor was concerned with, and he had already told me that was the last thing he could do for me.  Salt Lake is officially saying it is too big of a risk and I need to go home and see a neurologist.  President Jardine talked to me and said that if I pray about it and feel I should stay he will do everything in his power to keep me out here.  It's been a struggle, it makes me just so sad to think of leaving, even if I get to come back.  I don't want to!  I don't want to leave!  It's been a hard, hard week.  As I've prayed about it as much as I hate the answer I feel like I am supposed to go home.  When I talked to President about feeling conflicted he pointed out to me that my conflict is me second guessing the answer I've received because I don't like it.  So I asked if there was an option three.  If perhaps there is a way for me to stay out here and try something else.  So today he is calling mission medical and trying to figure out if there is something else that can be done.  If not then...ugh as much as I hate it I really feel like that's the answer and I have to be willing to act on the answer I'm given.  This week it has been hard not to check out of missionary work since I just got here and it seemed likely I'm about to leave, but I pulled myself together and remembered something that Elder Evans taught when he was here with the iPad conference.  It's what is written on the sticky note in the picture.  I have felt since I got my transfer call that here is where I need to be.  It's the strongest confirmation I've ever had that this is where I was supposed to go.  So I decided that even if it is for a short time, I am supposed to be here for that short time.  So I wrote the sticky note and have been using it as my iPad wallpaper as well.  I am reminding myself that whatever I do here, even if it is only for a few days, I was sent here for a reason.  So far I have had some great experiences bearing my testimony to less active members and members, as well as one recent convert.  And I'm going to just keep acting as though I'm going to be here forever!  It's been a really big, good learning week for me.  In the event that it's determined I am going "home," I am going to try to make it so I stay until there is an appointment with a neurologist set up already so I don't waste time waiting for one.  So that's the news.  It's been hard, but I have been very blessed.  I've felt far more peaceful and happy than I could have possibly imagined.  Love you all!  Keep praying for me.

Sister Robinson