Mother, I Love You

My very first memory of Mom is of being disciplined, or rather post-disciplining. I have no recollection of what I'd gotten in trouble for or what punishment had been meted out, but I clearly recall Mom giving me a big, long hug afterward and telling me she loved me. In that moment I understood and felt profoundly that she would always love me no matter what choices I made. It hasn't been until much later in life that I've understood what a profound impact that kind of understanding can have in a child's life.
She has no recollection of negative interactions when I was a teenager (bless her memory!), but I know we had our scuffles. Mom helped me get over shirking and complaining about work by making me wash the dishes by myself every day (by hand) for an entire year. April can back me up on that. :) My poor hands! It was a hard-learned lesson, but it did me good. I think after that I was mostly a cheerful cleaner, if not completely proactive. hahaha
As many of you know, the move to Preston was very difficult for me. I had trouble getting and keeping friends basically the entire time. I got much closer to my family as a result, but particularly Mom. Now that I am a Mom I can see how painful it must have been for Mom to see me struggling so much. The entire first year we lived there I think I came home from school crying most days. Mom kept assuring me that I was okay just as I was, and that I just needed to like myself and then other people would come around. But mostly she listened when I needed to talk, built me up and just loved me.
Oh, how I ache for people who don't have meaningful relationships with their earthly parents! How difficult it must be to believe in God's love for us when you have no one modeling it here! I remember a time that I had made a choice that I was extremely ashamed of, and it took me a while to work up the courage to tell Mom about it, because for the first time that I could remember I had to wonder if she could still love me after she knew what I had done. When I finally did, she handled it just right. She said to me, "Rachael, you're okay. And I still love you." And that helped me feel like Heavenly Father still loved me, too. In fact, in that moment I knew that He did, and that I was not a lost cause.
Thank you, Mom for helping me believe in my worth as a daughter of God. That was a priceless gift. I love you.

We Love You, Angela

I'll go stream of thought style for this one . . . I remember loving Angela's sweet, angelic (how appropriate!) singing voice from the very beginning - the quality has always reminded me of a flute, and I loved it when she sang around the house . . . Angela picking me up from piano lessons at Sister Seamons' house in Jerome and driving in a crazy serpentine pattern to make me laugh (I loved it when she did that) . . . from my perspective, it has always seemed like Angela was ready at any moment to have a party, and she would be well prepared with plenty of junk to party with . . . after high school she went to Provo and we all got showered with BYU gear - it was beautiful :) . . . more than once I sneaked into Angela's room (which was always so neat, it was rather shocking compared with other rooms in the house) and stole some of the candy she often kept on hand - sorry about that, Angela - I think she knew it was me, but I don't remember her ever yelling at me about it . . . I remember thinking that she was just gorgeous, particularly for her engagement and wedding photos - what a knock out! . . . also have vivid memories of her in her prom dress that mom made - pretty sure that style of dress was prominent in my drawings for a long time after that . . .

The older I get the more amazing I think Angela is. I'm pretty sure I know no other adult that is less likely to hold a grudge than her. It's just not how she's programmed! She seems to have an infinite well of forgiveness in her heart, and I just love that about her. She takes people as they are, and never seems to expect anything different. It ended up not being in the Lord's plan for me to serve a mission, but I planned on it from the age of twelve, being highly influenced by the choices of my older siblings, including Angela. I was just so proud of her. Even though I didn't end up serving a full-time mission, I know that even just planning and preparing for it was a blessing in my life. I love Angela so much. What a fantastic older sister she is. She's fully supportive and completely non-judgmental - you can't have a better cheerleader than that! When she showed up at the marathon around mile twenty-four last year - well, it was just perfect timing. I needed that boost right then; she gave me the motivation to actually finish the rest of the race at a run. I don't think I'd have managed it without that. She's just amazing, and I am continually awed by her strength and her tremendous faith. The perfect phrase to describe her is "steadfast and immovable."

Memories of Angela

Angela was always Momma's girl, with her little brown curls and big blue eyes.  When she was young and got tired, she would just lay her head on the couch seat with her legs still on the floor.  She followed Raymond all around.  She was pretty tender.  When she got on another little boy's tricycle in the quad housing at BYU where we lived, he was going to push her off, but Raymond came to the rescue.  Told the little boy, she wasn't going to hurt it and she would get off.  She did.  She loved to swing.  Of course, she loved to run and fall on the swing to swing herself and then the famous miss when she went too far and went right over onto her face.
I noticed a little determined attitude in her around 5th grade and I knew if I taught her well in the gospel plan of happiness, she would never leave the path.  It has been a great blessing for me to see her solidly on the Lord's side, keeping her covenants and cherishing her own children. 
As a child, it was brought to my attention, that she needed order.  Her room, including her drawers, closet, bed, etc. were always just so. 
She was compassionate and that made her a great coach for the special Olympics in Jerome.  And she was very strong, so she could push wheel chairs.
I remember when she had out-of-school learning at a daycare.  She came home declaring, "They don't need a school, they need a mom."  She really hurt for those children.
It was also hard for her to watch the elderly at the hospital care facility.  "I'll never put you in one of those places."  Angela wasn't much for words, but her heart was simple and full.  ...of such is the kingdom of heaven .